Helpmeets in Khaki and Camoflauge
Lessons Steve Irwin Style, Part 2 (Part 1 is just below)
I’ve been pondering men and women, and the roles each play within a marriage. You and I both know there are immense amounts of opinions and information available from both sides of the aisle.
Every once in awhile you run across a couple who perfectly complement each other, who beautifully portray the blending that God designed.
I spent time with my sister this past week. She and I live about 16 hours apart, so usually only see each other once a year. She is 8 years my elder.
She’s not had a perfect life – in fact, it has been filled with many painful things. And yet, I really enjoy watching her with her husband. He is an outdoorsman, to say the least. His walls are filled with “he-man” things…stuffed deer heads, geese, arrows carved by his own hand, sportsmanship trophies. He can cook anything Cajun, tan his own Buffalo hide, and made their bed from rough hewn logs. And yet, he cares for my sister tenderly and thoughtfully. If she needs anything – he makes it for her….from food to flower arrangements to a cheese press to etched plates for their anniversary.
And my sister. She is another “can do” soul. She wears camoflage and work boots most of the time – but she plays the piano and hand sewed her own velvet and satin wedding dress. She takes top honors at archery, but never brags. She can outfish most men, but I notice that she makes a point not to. She cooks, crochets, knits, cares for her grandbaby and dotes on her husband. When he cooked for the family this week, I observed that she paid careful attention – bringing him ingredients just as he needed them, grabbing the proper knife before he even asked. She even brought him tea while he chopped…with just the right amount of sugar for a southern boy. She’s his right hand.
But he honors and loves and serves her, too.
My brother in law, Terry, recently came through a frightening time with the skin cancer, Melanoma. He had a stage 4 tumor on his shoulder, and was told by the doctor that he had less than a year to live. We prayed, she stood by his side, and God healed. The melanoma never entered his lymph system and he has been given a reprieve. They are closer than ever, grateful for another chance, for more time. I’m pretty sure they’ve never studied the “way” things are supposed to be between men and women…they just do it. They live as individuals with strong interests; but totally for each other, and together for God.
Not to put too much emphasis on Steve and Terri Irwin – for they are simply humans – but while watching them on 20/20 last night I saw much of the same thing. Terri told how she had her own life before Steve…a wildlife rescue foundation. Her family was in Oregon. Her whole life was there. But when Steve asked her to marry him, she considered it all and said, “yes.” His life became hers. She didn’t shrink back and become less, her life became absolutely engulfed and wrapped up in his. Because of that, her life expanded, increased. She dove right in the mud with him – wore the same khakis and wrestled the same critters. She didn’t take over – but she certainly was his helper. Their relationship was beautiful to watch. She called him “my Prince.”
It was horribly sad to see this woman alone, without her mate. Her grief ran so deep, I could feel it in the pit of my stomach. Those who love much, grieve much. Those who have much to lose, value what they DO have, and mourn it when it is gone.
What I take from this is that our relationships won’t all look the same; and yet, as Christians, they can all be pleasing to God. They can be beautiful and a reflection of His glory whether wearing ruffles and lace or khaki and camoflauge. To be given the opportunity to walk alongside a good man and share his life and to sense his needs and to raise his children and be engulfed in his work is indeed a fulfilling, worthy thing. It is a blessed thing. If you have this, give it your best. Don’t take it for granted.
Wear khaki if necessary.
Violet replied:
Thank you for this, Holly. I love this part especially:”What I take from this is that our relationships won’t all look the same; and yet, as Christians, they can all be pleasing to God. They can be beautiful and a reflection of His glory whether wearing ruffles and lace or khaki and camoflage. To be given the opportunity to walk alongside a good man and share his life and to sense his needs and to raise his children and be engulfed in his work is indeed a fulfilling, worthy thing. It is a blessed thing.”
What a special calling we have as wives. May we be found worthy.
September 28, 2006 at 4:24 pm. Permalink.
coxclan5 replied:
Holly, this was right on. I tend to be feminine because that is how I like to be—but I realize God created each of us individually and uniquely. You are right—we have a special calling as wives. I know many women who are sullen and unhappy in their marriages and I just feel so badly for them. I for one am as happy as a pig in mud 99.9% of the time because I married my soulmate, my God-given better half, really.
Lindsey @ Enjoythejourney
September 28, 2006 at 5:49 pm. Permalink.
Elissa replied:
This was beautiful, Holly. I found the death of Steve Irwin incredibly sad although I hadn’t know too much about him prior to his death. You are right, he certainly seemed like a man who loved life, living out passionately what he believed was his purpose in life. I had great respect for his wife when I saw the photos of her right along side him with the animals, khaki and all. The suddeness of his death certainly reminds us to cherish our loved ones. Thank you for reminding us of the simple truth about being a wife, that it is about loving and serving and sharing life with our husband and not about fitting into someone’s formula or definition.
September 28, 2006 at 6:35 pm. Permalink.
ReneeM replied:
this was lovely… thank you for the reminder to love and serve my husband TANGIBLY… He is MUCH better at it than I am, to be honest!
and thanks for your comments and visiting at my place
September 28, 2006 at 7:59 pm. Permalink.
Kelli replied:
Holly,
I really appreciate what you wrote and in the previous post as well. My heart goes out to Terri and her children and she gave me alot to think about re: my own life. I need to be more “in the moment” with my family and carefully choosing (along with my husband) outside activities.
September 28, 2006 at 8:59 pm. Permalink.
thereverendswife replied:
Hey y’all. Me too. Me too. One more thing that Terri Irwin said was that Steve taught her to “stop sweating the small stuff. It was no big deal to let the children get muddy and dirty. If you spilled ice cream on your pants, so what? He was able to keep the big picture.”
Now…I’m not holding him up as holy, so I hope that isn’t the point I’m conveying. I just saw some important things there, and wanted to share them…:)
September 28, 2006 at 9:30 pm. Permalink.
Jenna replied:
Great post, Holly.
Boy, I couldn’t agree with you more. In a funny way, it reminds me of a conversation that I was having with my sister today, when she made a comment about how nutty my husband is. There was no point in correcting her, because he surely is a nut. But, we were made just silly and crazy enough to be a perfect match for one another. *laughs* Marriage doesn’t have to look like one particular model for it to be wonderful. We’re all different people, fitting together in our own unique way. 
September 28, 2006 at 10:42 pm. Permalink.
molleth replied:
This was a great post, Holly!!!!!!!!!!!
September 29, 2006 at 1:30 am. Permalink.
Susan replied:
I agree, we are all so different and our marriages are going to look different. You cannot put a standard on what submission or helpmeet is because it will look different in each family. What I may do in my family might not look like I am being a helper to my husband, instead taking the lead full steam ahead, when in fact I am being the helpmeet he needs me to be. Someone may look at it on the outside and judge for themselves that I am not submitting to my husband. He likes jeans. I wear jeans. TO some it might look like I am not fitting in the stereotype of homeschoolers but I am submitting by wearing what he likes.
Susan
September 29, 2006 at 6:21 am. Permalink.
thereverendswife replied:
Oh Susan, you just reminded me what I dreamed last night!
It is too funny….and I almost forgot! I dreamed that I was visiting Molly. It was like we were in college. There was this hanging rack filled with clothing, just for anyone to use. There were 12 denim jumpers and 12 corduroy jumpers. Lots and lots of turtlenecks to wear underneath. I was awakened before I learned whether we chose denim or corduroy. 
I do remember thinking, though…uh oh. Some dear homeschooling mama cleaned out her closet. 
Strange, eh?
September 29, 2006 at 1:33 pm. Permalink.
MamaKayB replied:
Holly,
Thank you so much for this post! Being better about honoring my husband has been on my heart this week and this post was a great encouragement to me!
September 29, 2006 at 5:42 pm. Permalink.
Nadine replied:
Amen! What a great post!
October 1, 2006 at 12:24 am. Permalink.
Patricia replied:
I loved this post, Holly! I watched that 20/20 interview with Terry Irwin, as well, and was very touched by both her reference to Steve as her “prince” and the comment about letting the kids get dirty.
October 4, 2006 at 11:33 pm. Permalink.
whimsy replied:
God brought this post to my attention this morning. I have been struggling in this area somewhat.
I would like to be a Donna Reed kinda wife, wearing dressing and decorating my home. That’s not what DH needs. He needs a jeans & boots wearing right hand gal.
I felt like I wasn’t really doing this “wife” thing right because of it. I had let man’s (or woman’s as the case may be) idea of what a wife should be overshadow God and my DH’s idea of what his wife needs to be.
Thanks again.
October 14, 2006 at 12:42 pm. Permalink.